(Photo by Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images for MTV/ ViacomCBS)
It’s Page Nine…with East Side Dave
(95.9 The Rat’s parody of sleezy celebrity gossip websites)
Goodness gracious, dear readers! Did someone turn up the heat or is that just Megan Fox?!
The sultry star of Transformers turned heads and caused cameras to explode with a most desirable dress!
Megan arrived at the MTV VMA’s red carpet with her boyfriend Machine Gun Kelly…and became the only thing from the floundering awards show to trend on Twitter!
(Photo by Noam Galai/Getty Images for MTV/ViacomCBS)
My, oh my! It’s September, Megan! It’s gonna get chilly out there! Maybe you should have a scarf?
(Photo by Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images for MTV/ ViacomCBS)
Look, Megan! Even Machine Gun Kelly seems concerned that you’re gonna catch a cold! Maybe you could borrow his shiny red jacket!
(Photo by Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images for MTV/ ViacomCBS)
And now Machine Gun Kelly appears to be trying to warm Megan up in this brisk weather by applying his hands on her in order to transfer body warmth! This could all be prevented with a nice warm jacket, Megan! And maybe some mittens!
(Photo by Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images for MTV/ ViacomCBS)
Hey, Machine Gun Kelly! Watch the hands! This doesn’t look like body heat transfer any more, fella! Furthermore, I just found some great deals on wind-breakers online! Maybe tell your girlfriend to message me so I can get her one!
(Photo by Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images for MTV/ ViacomCBS)
Listen, the dress is nice, Megan! We’re just looking out for your health! You’re gorgeous and all…but the Autumn cold season is nothing to mess with!!
(Photo by Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images for MTV/ ViacomCBS)
NEW PICS!
Hey, you guys ever hear of P.D.A. being socially frowned upon?! Get a room! And, hey, Machine Gun Kellly…..get the hands up, pal!!
(Photo by Noam Galai/Getty Images for MTV/ViacomCBS)
Seriously someone get Megan a hoodie or at least a scarf…the AC is probably blasting in that building and the poor thing is gonna catch a cold!
(Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)
Seriously this Machine Gun Kelly fella is beginning to ruin the pics for me. Why so, forlorn-looking, Machine Gun?! You’re not some tortured artist so stop posing like one!
(Photo by Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images for MTV/ ViacomCBS)
Um….is Megan glaring at me in this pic? Uh-oh!
(Photo by Jason Kempin/Getty Images)
…..You seem to be glaring at me, Megan! If I did anything to offend, I apologize! Or maybe I’ve just gone crazy and am talking to a photograph on my computer screen! Ahhhh!
(Photo by Jason Kempin/Getty Images)
This has been another edition of Page Nine! And remember, dear readers, to keep it on the QT…and very hush-hush!
– East Side Dave