It’s Page Nine…with East Side Dave
(95.9 The Rat’s parody of sleezy celebrity gossip websites)
Good morning, dear readers! We here at Page Nine are currently soiling ourselves over the news that Jennifer Lopez may be moving on from Alex Rodriguez…..right into the arms of ex-flame Ben Affleck!
Holy early-2000’s-romance, Batman! This is the most unexpected reunion since Guns N’ Roses got back together!
As for A-Rod…..looks like he needs to inject himself with some GAME…because Affleck is stealing your woman, brother!
This has been another edition of Page Nine! And remember, dear readers, to keep it on the QT…and very hush-hush!
– East Side Dave