Hot Dog Flavored Seltzer Coming To 7/11
In the latest case of, “What On God’s Green Earth Are They Thinking”, a local convenience store has announced a new beverage coming to their shelves on Monday. Among the new sparkling water flavors available at 7/11 in this product launch will be, “Hot Dog Flavored Seltzer”. I’m grossed out just by reading those words together in one sentance.
The new sparkling water flavor was announced by convenience store giant, 7/11. Their new line of seltzer will not only include “hot dog” flavor, but also Lemon Lime, Green Apple, and Sweet Orange. Honestly, the last few sound pretty good. But the other one… gag me with a spoon.
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As you can see above, a photo of the new can of “Hot Dog Sparkling Water” has been making the rounds on social media. The press release that they dropped to support the launch claims that they’ve concocted the new flavors in partnership with the Miracle Seltzer beverage company.
They’re calling it, “daring flavor that pushes the boundaries of flavor innovation,” and something that’s sure to “delight even the most adventurous of palates.”
I’m calling it the absolute worst idea in beverage since “New Coke”. But at least New Coke didn’t make me want to vomit. This idea makes me want to spew. Nobody has ever went up to a New York City hot dog vendor and said, “Hey gimme two with relish and mustard and while you’re at it I’ll take a gallon of that juice to go.” If they did we would have heard about it because they’d be the subject of a ground breaking psychiatric study on the how the human sense of taste can get out of whack.
But, it’s 2024 and here we are. Hot dog flavored seltzer is a thing coming this Monday, April 1st. Wait a minute. Wait just one minute. April 1st, you say?!
Hmmmmm.