This is an anti Valentine’s Day story, but Let me start by saying, that I love my wife. She’s the fire in my cracker, the hot in my sauce, the tira in my misu. However, I think a day created to spend money on stupid cards and flowers just to prove your love for someone is ridiculous. I know some people disagree with me. That’s fine. There are just as many who are pickin’ up what I’m puttin’ down!

. (Photo by Chris McGrath/Getty Images)

Valentine’s Day is for suckers! It’s a scam, a flim flam created by the likes of Hallmark and Big Candy. That’s right I said it, Big Candy. The only thing Whitman is sampling is the amount of suckers they can get to plop down 35 bucks for some chocolates. Half of these are those crummy ones with the waxy cream inside. You’re God Damn right I smush em first!

RELATED: Sweethearts to Drop ‘Situationship Boxes’ for Valentine’s Day

(Photo by Junko Kimura/Getty Images)

I Have Reasons For My Feelings.

Anyway, listen. I don’t mean to come off sounding like an old unloved curmudgeon. I love love. Really, I do. Furthermore, I think Valentine’s Day does have it’s place in the world. Young love. When I was in high school, the student body sold carnations for a buck each in the days leading up to Valentines Day. If I remember correctly, there was white carnations for friendship, pink for “secret admirer”, and of course red for love. I never got one of those carnations. Maybe if I did, I would feel differently. Indeed, maybe I wouldn’t be the Grinch who stole Valentines!

(Photo by Sean Gallup/Getty Images)

I Was Taught By A Master.

However, it is what it is. Here we are, on February 14th. The big day. The only solace I can provide you, are these 7 classic Anti Valentine’s Day songs for you to enjoy. That and the words of my Uncle Olof, who back when I was just a lad, sat me on his knee and gave me the best advice to carry me through a lifetime of Valentine’s Days. He said, “Jimmy my boy, remember, Cupid rhymes with Stupid”. Finally,  he took a swig of his Pabst Blue Ribbon and went back to watching rasslin’.

(Photo Illustration by Drew Angerer/Getty Images)

Here are 7 of the finest Anti V-Day songs I could find! Now go smush some Whitmans! 

• Love Stinks - The J. Geils Band

  It’s the Grand Daddy of all anti V-Day songs. So much rock. So much hate. You can’t help but sing along. Peter Wolf never sounded better. It’s been an anthem for 40 years.

• I Hate Everything About You - Ugly Kid Joe

  With apologies to the great 3 Days Grace, who’s song of the same name is epic, this one hit wonder from the early 90s just hits the spot for Valentines Day.

• She Hates Me - Puddle Of Mudd

  I’ve played this song so many damn times over the years. I have never gotten a request on air from someone who didn’t have a story behind it. No one ever says “I just like the guitar in it” lol ya know?

• Don't Go Away Mad (Just Go Away) - Motley Crue

  Ahhh, now here we go! Some real piss n vinegar rock with a straight forward message. A line Nikki Sixx said he saw in a movie, and wrote a song around it.

• Keep Your Hands To Yourself - The Georgia Satellites

  Man, this anthem of the mid 80s still holds up. A little change in his pocket, along with a lot of frustration. We’ve all been there! Free Milk n Cows baby…

• Monkey Wrench - Foo Fighters

  The song is good. What makes it great though is the last part of it. Dave Grohl lets his former love know EXACTLY how he feels, in one of the most dynamic musical slams of all time. He leaves no stone unturned.

   

• Die, Die My Darling - The Misfits/Metallica

  The classic Misfits song was brilliantly brought into the mainstream by the boys in Metallica. Never so evident than at Woodstock 99…

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