Valentine’s Day

7 Anti Valentine’s Day Songs To Get Through This Holiday

This is an anti Valentine's Day story, but Let me start by saying, that I love my wife. She's the fire in my cracker, the hot in my sauce, the tira in my misu. However, I think a day created to spend money on stupid cards and flowers just to prove your love for someone is ridiculous. I know some people disagree with me. That's fine. There are just as many who are pickin' up what I'm puttin' down! [caption id="attachment_971282" align="aligncenter" width="362"] . (Photo by Chris McGrath/Getty Images)[/caption] Valentine's Day is for suckers! It's a scam, a flim flam created by the likes of Hallmark and Big Candy. That's right I said it, Big Candy. The only thing Whitman is sampling is the amount of suckers they can get to plop down 35 bucks for some chocolates. Half of these are those crummy ones with the waxy cream inside. You're God Damn right I smush em first! RELATED: Sweethearts to Drop ‘Situationship Boxes’ for Valentine’s Day [caption id="attachment_971276" align="aligncenter" width="375"] (Photo by Junko Kimura/Getty Images)[/caption] I Have Reasons For My Feelings. Anyway, listen. I don't mean to come off sounding like an old unloved curmudgeon. I love love. Really, I do. Furthermore, I think Valentine's Day does have it's place in the world. Young love. When I was in high school, the student body sold carnations for a buck each in the days leading up to Valentines Day. If I remember correctly, there was white carnations for friendship, pink for "secret admirer", and of course red for love. I never got one of those carnations. Maybe if I did, I would feel differently. Indeed, maybe I wouldn't be the Grinch who stole Valentines! [caption id="attachment_971288" align="aligncenter" width="383"] (Photo by Sean Gallup/Getty Images)[/caption]   I Was Taught By A Master. However, it is what it is. Here we are, on February 14th. The big day. The only solace I can provide you, are these 7 classic Anti Valentine's Day songs for you to enjoy. That and the words of my Uncle Olof, who back when I was just a lad, sat me on his knee and gave me the best advice to carry me through a lifetime of Valentine's Days. He said, "Jimmy my boy, remember, Cupid rhymes with Stupid". Finally,  he took a swig of his Pabst Blue Ribbon and went back to watching rasslin'. [caption id="attachment_971291" align="aligncenter" width="518"] (Photo Illustration by Drew Angerer/Getty Images)[/caption]   Here are 7 of the finest Anti V-Day songs I could find! Now go smush some Whitmans!