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How Many Tattoos Does Gotts Really Have?

Much like how we sometimes see the clouds merge into one in the sky, or more appropriately, the bubbles on the head of his beloved Miller Lite, Gott’s tattoos seem…

The Canvas
JIMMY STEAL

Much like how we sometimes see the clouds merge into one in the sky, or more appropriately, the bubbles on the head of his beloved Miller Lite, Gott's tattoos seem to all blend together. So, how many tats does your boy really have? I did a deep dive to find out!

When it comes to his body, let alone his tattoos, Gotts of the Morning Rat Race, is like an artistic science project. He drinks a ton of "beers" as he calls them. He eats like total shit. I don't mean red meat and fried foods, no, I mean Combos and a Mountain Dew for lunch regularly. Yet the bastard is thin as a rail. He dyes his hair and grows dreadlocks, yet it never falls out. His math skills or lack thereof are legendary, yet his brain always remembers the digits of the girl he's trying to pick up at the bar. He truly is a modern medical wonder. His freakish powers must come from those colorful designs on his epidermal canvas.

Lucky for me, it's only the upper torso I have to focus on.

If the Gotts has any leg tattoos, I haven't seen them. If he has any "hidden" ink, I don't wanna see 'em! For this exercise, we will be focusing on his arms. Ah the arms, those toothpicks have more drawings on them than Green Day's Dookie album cover. His arms are going to be the toughest to count correctly. A lot of blending, melding, and bad late-night decisions for sure.

Gotts has themes in his tattoos...I think.

His one arm is an under-the-sea motif. Honestly, as I was taking these photographs I had to have him explain what some of them were. The artwork is top-notch, no doubt. However, a few of them left me scratching my head as to what creatures they actually were. One kind of looks like Don Rickles. The other arm we'll call his "personal collection". I have no other name for it. Trees, tiki heads, some blonde chick. It's a Forrest Gump on an acid trip with Captain Dan-type situation for sure.

The final count?

Hard to say. Two pieces, one on each arm. 15 total individual tattoos counted, but that's not including the background shading and other colors flowing through. I'll stick with 15. It's a nice round number if you're doing Gotts math.

OCTOPUS

OCTOPUSJIMMY STEAL

JELLYFISH 1

JELLYFISH 1JIMMY STEAL

JELLYFISH 2

JELLYFISH 2JIMMY STEAL

HAMMERHEAD SHARK

HAMMERHEAD SHARKJIMMY STEAL

SEA URCHIN...I think.

SEA URCHINJIMMY STEAL

WE FOUND NEMO AND DORY!

NEMO AND DORYJIMMY STEAL

EEL

EELJIMMY STEAL

I'M NO ANGEL FISH

ANGEL FISHJIMMY STEAL

DEEP SEA DIVER

DEEP SEA DIVERJIMMY STEAL

TIKI FACE 1

TIKI FACE 1JIMMY STEAL

TREE OF LIFE

TREE OF LIFEJIMMY STEAL

RANDOM BLONDE CHICK

BLONDEJIMMY STEAL

TIKI FACE 2

TIKI FACE 2 JIMMY STEAL

HIBISCUS FLOWER

HIBISCUS FLOWERJIMMY STEAL

VOLCANO

VOLCANOJIMMY STEAL

Put 'em all together and this is what you get!

Believe it or not, Jimmy’s first job was overnights at a Christian Radio Station. He claims he got into radio because like Rocky Balboa once said, “cause I can’t sing or dance.” Jimmy loves to write about all local happenings, especially around his town of Toms River. Favorite Pastime (other than masturbation, of course): Cheering for the Yankees, and crying for the J-E-T-S!!! Favorite Food: Hot Sauce…I collect ’em! Favorite Drink: PRUNO…look it up, if you dare! Favorite Movies: The Exorcist, Planet of The Apes (the original), To Kill a Mockingbird, Annie Hall, and of course GF 1 & GF 2…I heard that’s how the real fans refer to them. Favorite Movie Line: easy…Murry-Caddyshack-“big hitter, the Lama”…f#$*in’ riot! Best Rat Rock Bands: STP, VH, ZEP, PEARL JAM, FOOS, PEPPERS,AC/DC Favorite New Bands: Glorious Sons, Rival Sons, Dirty Honey Most Embarrassing Moment: the moment my mother reads this shit! Best Day: I know a lot of folks say this, but it’s true: the day my little girl Jynell and my boy Big D were born! Next to that, it would have to be the day I was baked on earth day in Central Park and met Keefer Sutherland…baked too, I believe.