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Carl Craft

Carl Craft

Carl Craft

Carl Craft’s Top Six Candy Picks Of All Time

By Carl Craft
The greatest candy of all time, now that's a tough question. Carl Craft breaks down classic Halloween candy.

Halloween candy collecting is right around the corner and that means it’s time for two things: Costumes and Trick-or-Treating. (Ok, and big, giant chances to get freaked out and scared! But this post is about candy!  That’s why I’ve put together a list of the best candy ever. Seriously, this was the best candy to get when I was a kid going door to door in my costume.

Here’s the thing though: Candy preference is totally subjective. Therefore, if your favorite candy isn’t listed here, it’s not necessarily because you have no taste (although that’s possible). It’s just that your sweet-tooth is aligned differently than mine.

If you do have a favorite you’d like on the list, be sure to let me know!

Rest assured, I’ve gotten my fair share of awful Halloween candy. When me and my brother finally got home from our neighborhood rounds. We’d dump out our pillow cases on the floor in the family room and sort our yearly take.

Two of the worst candies were actually my parents’ favorites.  Necco Wafers went to my dad, because that was his favorite (and I thought they were totally disgusting). Mary Janes went to my mom because those were her favorite.

As we sat on the floor smelling the sugary Halloween candy goodness, we contemplated the beauty before us.  These days my kids pour the candy out just like I did; as I contemplate just how f’n nuts that sugar will make them.

My how the times have changed… LOL!

Word of caution as you read this list. I don’t consider chocolate to be, “candy”. I know, it’s a controversial stand to take during the candy-ist season of the year. When I say, “candy”, I mean pure sugary goodness. Chocolate is a higher plane than “candy”. Chocolate is heaven. Candy is sugar. So, for me, I see a difference.

  • Sweet Tarts

    One of the purest forms of sugar known to humankind, Sweet Tarts date back to the early 1960’s. By time I came around, Sweet Tarts were fully immersed into candy culture. In fact, as I recall, they were one of the first candies that broke out into alternative forms and sizes. Like, for example, the giant Sweet Tart and the Giant Chewy Sweet Tart. A young Carl could roam for hours in the wild on a bag or two of Sweet Tarts. They delivered!

  • Blow Pops

    Here’s a fun fact:  While I was in middle school my dentist banned me from eating candy for a full six months.  Can you believe that?  Six months, no candy.  All because I had a few cavities.  Well, guess why I had those cavities?  Yep, the Blow Pop.  Cherry and Watermelon were my go to flavors but you honestly couldn’t go wrong with any of the flavors.  I’ll never forget how they stuck to my teeth in that magic moment when the candy was almost gone but the bubble gum was starting.  And I’ll never forget how much my jaw hurt after going through a half a bag.

  • Smarties

    You know what the main difference is between Smarties and Sweet Tarts?  The fact that Smarties are a perfect size.  You could put a whole friggin’ sleeve in your mouth and let the sugar just melt into every pore of your body.

    While you could enjoy multiple Sweet Tarts at once, it just wasn’t the same.  Smarties were the candy addict’s immediate sugar fix.  One sleeve and you’d go from normal kid to Buzz Lightyear in thirty two seconds, max.  And the crash?  Damn, that was worse than a Boones Farm hangover.

     

  • Bubble Yum

    When I was a kid I thought that I was some kind of bubble gum blowing master.  I spent real time and effort trying to blow the biggest bubble I could, and then zap-popping it back into my mouth.

    A true expert could blow a giant bubble and then suck that thing back in without a single drop of gum landing anywhere other than your mouth.  Only an amateur would need to pull the small pieces of gum back into their mouth.

    I began my bubble gum journey with Bazooka, that was the one with the little comic strip included in the wrapper.  Once Bubble Yum came around, my bubble gum allegiance changed.  Bubble Yum had a greater elasticity which made for better bubbles.  It was over for Bazooka pretty quickly.  What’s more:  Bubble Yum had so much sugar that you’d actually feel the sugar crunching in your mouth when you first started a piece; pure heaven.

    Honorable mention to Double Bubble, which still has a place in my heart for it’s somewhat metallic bubble gum flavor.

    Who  else remembers the rumor that somehow Bubble Yum had attracted spiders to lay eggs in some dude’s ear?  That was crazy.

  • Red Hots

    The early Red Hots were so spicy hot that they made my forehead sweat if I ate enough of them. They were the first candy to test your taste bud’s limits. Like, these days the Sour Patch Kids test our ability to handle sour, the original Red Hots tested if we could take the sweet, cinnamon spiciness. However, I have to give props to the Red Hots predecessor, the Fire Ball. The Fire Ball was so hot that sometimes I’d have to take it out and let it rest to cool down a bit.

    Red Hots took the Fire Ball and made them smaller, a little less hot, but with a chewy center as opposed to the Fire Ball hard, white candy center.

    Shout out to the Lemonheads; which were just like Red Hots but with lemon.  Yum!

     

  • Bottle Caps

    Along the same vibe as the Smartie and the Sweet Tart, Bottle Caps were basically pure sugar with different flavors.  They were made in the shape of a real bottle cap though, so they had their own distinct look.

    And the Bottle Cap flavors were incredible:  The purple one tasted like grape and was almost always really hard.  Meanwhile, the orange one fell apart quickly.  So did the brown Bottle Cap which, incredibly, tasted like actual root beer soda!  So did the cola.  Probably the best thing about Bottle Caps is that it actually had the “Wonka” name on the box!  As a kid, if the candy was Wonka-approved, I was sold!

     

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