Carl Craft

AFSP

Seagull Steals Man’s Wallet

In today's No Sweat News: A story called, "Seagull Steals Man's Wallet Right Off His Grocery Shopping Cart" and it's exactly what it sounds like. This man in Nantucket, Massachusetts had the worst day ever while he was leaving the grocery store. And someone nearby caught the aftermath on video so we can watch this guy's financial life get torn apart. Those Damn Seagulls I see it a few times every summer. A bunch of bennies set up their encampment on the beach nearby. After a few minutes they all decide to go down to the water, leaving their snacks and other belongings out in the open. Those damn seagulls know it the minute it happens. Suddenly, without warning, those damn sky rodents descend upon that blanket on a snack raid. 60-Second Listen: The Bird Sounds On Golf TV Broadcasts Are Added For Effect What happens next is a beach tragedy that is wildly entertaining for everyone except those bennies. Those birds tear apart everything on that blanket looking for something to feast on. If one of those winged bandits finds something, they all follow that lucky bastard and the carnage usually subsides. But, I've seen them ravage a beach set up in mere minutes. This poor Nantucket schlub wasn't on the beach, wasn't even near it. But that didn't stop the seagull from thinking is wallet was a bean burrito and swooping down to swipe it. The guy managed to chase it a little bit, but since he couldn't fly... well, he was SOOL. The seagull brought the wallet to a nearby rooftop and began pulling it apart, releasing the bills first which blew away in the breeze. Then the bird picked the rest up and flew off. So this guy had to cancel all his credit cards because a seagull stole his wallet. That sucks. The Video There once was a gull from Nantucket... Who saw a guy's wallet and plucked it. It thought it was food and robbed the poor dude. Then realized it wasn't and chucked it. Here's the video... "Yup, there goes the cash..." https://youtu.be/idDwjKjKOgk