These are my top 5 worst Christmas treats ranked from number one all the way down to number five, the worst. The all suck bad. Like reindeer breath bad.
These aren’t even remotely close the the yummy treats. Like home baked cookies and cold milk for Santa. Or perhaps a nice slice of pumpkin pie or apple pie ala mode. Nothing like the delicious and delectable varieties of cheesecake on Christmas Eve, or scrumptious crumb cake on Christmas morning. No these are treats you wouldn’t even feed to your dog. The Grinch himself wouldn’t even feed any of these creations to poor old Max. Not that you should be feeding your dog treats anyway.
A rich Dundee Cake topped with almonds, next to a Yuletide greetings card, circa 1955. (Photo by Hulton Archive/Getty Images)
The intentions were good.
No doubt at one point in time, someplace in the world, one holiday season, someone had a warm place in their heart, and decided to make some new fangled treat for their loved ones. That was the first mistake. Also, I’m more than a bit certain that there are folks out there that actually enjoy these so called treats. However, if there are, I personally haven’t found many. I mean, I love food. All kinds. These treats? No bueno, Muchacho.
BERLIN, GERMANY – NOVEMBER 21: A merchant selling stollen, a traditional German Christmas fruit cake loaf, allows a visitor to taste a sample at the annual Christmas market at Alexanderplatz on the market’s opening day on November 21, 2016 in Berlin, Germany. Christmas markets are opening across Germany this week in a tradition that dates back centuries. For the next four weeks the Christmas markets, which are usually located on the main square of the hosting town or village, will provide holiday cheer with stalls selling mulled wine, sausages, Christmas ornaments and other delights. (Photo by Sean Gallup/Getty Images)
Don’t take my word for it. Got get yourself some!
Who knows, maybe you have a taste for the obscure, or overly sweet. Perhaps you like strange flavor combinations for the sake of the holidays. Or, maybe just maybe, you really just like to punish yourself because you know deep down inside, that this year you belong on the naughty list! Well, whatever the case may be, I wish you season’s eatings, as they say on the Food Network. Although, with these Top 5 Worst Christmas Treats, you might wish you never even opened you mouth and swallowed.
TORQUAY, ENGLAND – FEBRUARY 28: UKIP fruit cake is displayed at the UKIP 2014 Spring Conference at the Riviera International on February 28, 2014 in Torquay, England. The anti-European Union UK Independence Party leader Nigel Farage is looking to galvanise support ahead of May’s European Parliament elections when they hope to win the most seats in the contest, building on its strong poll ratings and success in last year’s local elections. (Photo by Matt Cardy/Getty Images)
With that, here they are! The Top 5 Worst Christmas Treats ranked from number 5 down to number 1 !
Marzipan
Originating in Germany, Italy, and Spain. According to Wikipedia, Marzipan is a confection consisting primarily of sugar, honey, and almond meal, sometimes augmented with almond oil or extract. It is often made into sweets; common uses are chocolate-covered marzipan and small marzipan imitations of fruits and vegetables.
TOLEDO, SPAIN – NOVEMBER 29: A woman puts the finishing touches to a traditional hand-made ‘Anguila’ (eel shaped) mazapan christmas cake at the Santo Tome Obrador de Mazapan cake bakery in Toledo, Spain. The company, which employs 45 staff throughout the year, has hired an extra 25 workers leading up to the christmas festivities hoping comsumption picks up over the holiday period. (Photo by Denis Doyle/Getty Images)
Christmas Lime Jello Cake
Origins? Who knows! Probably Aunt Bethany from Christmas Vacation.
APELDOORN, THE NETHERLANDS – (Photo by Michel Porro/Getty Images)
Figgy Pudding
What an absolute nightmare. Pudding made from figs? So sticky, so sweet. This thing has been riding the coattails of “We wish you a Merry Christmas” for decades.
KNUTSFORD, UNITED KINGDOM – (Photo by Christopher Furlong/Getty Images)
Mince Pie
According to the website America Fun Fact Of The Day, “If you’re an American who has tried to live a good and wholesome life, you’ve probably been lucky enough to avoid mince pies, which have a long and storied Christmas tradition in England, the country where culinary practices historically go to fester and die.” Sounds about right – Mutton meat, fruit and spices. Yum!
21st December 1964: London’s largest mince pie weighing 46 lbs and measuring over 2 feet across being donated to the children’s ward of West London Hospital at Hammersmith by British Gas cooker manufacturers. The pie was received by sister Abbott and cut by Stephanie Colburn who is in ‘The Sound Of Music’ at the palace theatre. (Photo by George W. Hales/Fox Photos/Getty Images)
Fruit Cake
Ahhh yes, the grand champion. The Tom Brady of holiday treats all over the globe. Get it as a gift this year, give it as a gift next. It will stay, trust me. The Horror.
A fruitcake on a plate, circa 1955. (Photo by Hulton Archive/Getty Images)
