Can you guess which story is made up?

Yeah so… sometimes I get on a curve and go full on bat-s#it-crazy for the made up story.  Today, I dreamed up something fairly believable and it was the curveball that struck out TWO listeners to the Morning Rat Race.

As you may know, just about every No Sweat News Story is pretty messed up.  That’s kind of the point.

One of the stories is complete BUNK.  Totally made up.

Can you guess which?

Today’s winner eventually won tickets for Nickelback!

• Dateline, Florida, Capitol of the No Sweat News.

  After decades, Splash Mountain at Disney just closed it’s doors for good. Cue the scam artists on Ebay who are selling containers of the water from Slash Mountain for anywhere between a few bucks to a few hundred. Moral of the story? That circus guy, he was the one who said, “there’s a sucker born every minute”.
  That’s story number one, now known as: Forget Splash Mountain holy water, I want the old chewing gum that was stuck on the gum tree at Great Adventure on the Runaway Train ride.

• Story number two for today's No Sweat News Quiz:  Dateline, your bedroom. 

  The Mattress Giant is a mattress retailer in the Carolinas, Georgia and Alabama and they just announced their Valentines Day promotion.  They’re hiring a couple to be their official “mattress testers”..  One couple will get a free mattress every month for a year and be required to, ahem, “test it out” at least 12 times and report back.  The job comes with a 50 thousand dollar annual salary.  Moral of the story?  Get paid to have sex?

  That’s story number two for today’s Quiz, now known as:  hmmm, sex 3 times a week?  Who am I, Ron Jeremy?

• And our third story for today's No Sweat News Quiz travels to Louisiana. 

  A 45 year old high school cafeteria worker was just busted selling pot brownies to the kids on the cafeteria line.  That’s right, not just at school.  IN school.  To students in line for food.  Moral of the story?  If she did it on mystery meat day I’m going to give her a pass.

  That’s story number 3 now known as:  Send that woman to jail AND back to school.

• And story number 4 for today's No Sweat News Quiz:  Dateline, TikTok. 

  A viral trend claiming to be new swept through the social media site last weekend.  A hangover cure!  To cure your hangover, just dunk your head repeatedly in freezing cold ice water.  Doctors even weighed in to say that it really works but don’t we all remember this from a long time ago?  Moral of the story?  I’d rather go with a B1 patch with Gott’s face on it, at least I know that works.

  That’s story number 4, now known as:  Yeah, but with Gott’s face patch you have to start hitting on grandmas.

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