Pumpkin Spice Butt Wipes Are Real And You Can Buy Them Soon

You heard me right.  Pumpkin Spice Butt Wipes.

In my personal opinion, anything with pumpkin spice other than actual pumpkin pie should go straight into the toilet so I'm actually pretty comfortable with this idea.

Here's what's up, No Sweat News Fans.  The Dude Wipes brand is expected to release the pumpkin spice butt wipes next Tuesday, September 5th.  How do we know?  They posted this:

Word on the street is that they're calling them DUMPkin Spice Wipes.

According to the description, they're designed to, quote, "keep your butt cozy with a pumpkin spice-inspired mix of clove, nutmeg, and other fall sh**."

This is actually something the brand joked about a few years ago (see below) but apparently: these things are arriving next week.  I don't know if I should run, hide, or find myself a girl who wants to snuggle up to my pumpkin spice-scented rear end.

Oh, by the way.  No matter what your butt wipes smell like, the bad news is that none of those things are actually flushable.  They're awful for septic systems and if you're in a city sewer system anyone at public works will tell you that those things clog up their pump systems like crazy.  Even if they specifically say, "flushable" on the package?  They're not really flushable.  So, you gotta toss them in the bathroom garbage... which will now be nicely pumpkin-spiced scented.