No Sweat News Quiz!
Today’s NSNQ was for Def Leppard / Motley Crue tickets!
DATELINE, IOWA. THE KROGER FOOD COMPANY HAS BEEN FORCED TO RECALL THEIR COMPANY ADVENT CALENDAR BECAUSE IT GOT THE END DATE WRONG. WHOMEVER DESIGNED THE GRAPHICS HAD CHRISTMAS FALLING ON MONDAY, DECEMBER 26TH INSTEAD OF THE 25TH, A SUNDAY. THEY APOLOGIED TO THE COMMUNITY AND ANYONE WHO RETURNS THE FREE ADVENT CALENDAR WILL GET A FREE CHRISTMAS THEMED WREATH WHILE SUPPLIES LAST. MORAL OF THE STORY? THE 26TH WAS JESUS MARTINEZ’S BIRTHDAY, NOT BABY JESUS.
THAT’S STORY NUMBER 1, NOW KNOWN AS: OFF ALL THE DATES TO GET WRONG…
STORY NUMBER TWO TAKES US TO THE FROZEN FOOD AISLE. TGI FRIDAYS IS BEING SUED BECAUSE THE MOZZARELLA STICKS THAT THEY SELL IN THE GROCERY STORE HAVE NO MOZZARELLA CHEESE IN THEM. THE PACKAGE SAYS THEY’RE LOADED WITH THE SAVORY FLAVOR OF MOZZARELLA DESPITE BEING ALL CHEDDAR. MORAL OF THE STORY? WHAT’S NEXT THEIR BLOODY MARY MIX DOESN’T HAVE REAL BLOOD?
THAT’S STORY NUMBER 2, NOW KNOWN AS: JUST MAKE SURE THE MARINARA DIPPING SAUCE COMES WITH IT.
AND OUR THIRD STORY FOR TODAY’S NO SWEAT NEWS QUIZ TAKES US TO: FLORIDA, CAPITOL OF THE NO SWEAT NEWS.
A GUY IN THE SUNSHINE STATE JUST GOT BUSTED BECAUSE HE TRIED TO ROB THE LOCAL WALMART WHILE A SHOP WITH A COP EVENT WAS GOING ON. THERE WERE ABOUT 40 POLICE AT THE STORE SHOPPING WITH UNDER PRIVILEDGED KIDS. EVEN THE COUNTY SHERIFF WAS THERE. MORAL OF THE STORY? GUESS WHO’S ON THE NAUGHTY LIST THIS YEAR?
THAT’S STORY NUMBER 3 NOW KNOWN AS: THE LIGHTS ON THE TOP OF THE POLICE CAR ARE NOT, I REPEAT NOT, CHRISTMAS LIGHTS.
AND OUR 4TH AND FINAL STORY FOR TODAY’S NO SWEAT NEWS QUIZ: DATELINE, GERMANY. A 72 YEAR OLD WOMAN IN A GERMAN HOSPITAL GOT ARRESTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER AFTER SHE REPEATEDLY UNPLUGGED HER HOSPITAL ROOMATES VENTILATOR TWICE. WHY’D SHE UNPLUG HER HOSTPITAL ROOMATE’S VENTILATOR? SHE TOLD COPS THAT THE NOISE OF IT ANNOYED HER AND KEPT HER UP AT NIGHT. MORAL OF THE STORY? WORD HAS IT SHE JUST HAD HER TWITTER ACCCOUNT REINSTATED BY ELON MUSK.
THAT’S STORY NUMBER 4, NOW KNOWN AS: TOUGH OLD BROAD IN GERMANY. DON’T MESS WITH ‘EM
