It’s Page Nine…with East Side Dave
(95.9 The Rat’s parody of sleezy celebrity gossip websites)
Goodness gracious, dear readers, it looks like Tom Brady is about to be sacked by supermodel and wife Gisele Bundchen! Aye, caramba!
Apparently Brady has fumbled his relationship with Gisele over the issue of returning to football after a two-month retirement!
Gisele supposedly wants Brady on the sidelines…but Tom is still looking for the end zone! What that means for Tom is that he either has to punt his career or his relationship away!

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – FEBRUARY 21: (L-R) Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen attends the 2019 Hollywood For Science Gala at Private Residence on February 21, 2019 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)
I’m not sure if Brady can make a comeback with this one! It seems that Gisele is up by ten points with only four minutes to go!
We hope that the couple can find a path to victory for themselves and avoid sudden death! No matter how it goes…this is definitely a game—I mean story—that we’ll be watching closely.
It’s apparently fourth and inches for Tom…and Gisele is looking to make a goal line stand! Let’s see how this play develops!
This has been another edition of Page Nine! And remember, dear readers, to keep it on the QT…and very hush-hush!
– East Side Dave