Carl Craft

Weekdays 6am - 10am

POINT PLEASANT, NJ - MAY 27: People walk along the boardwalk at Point Pleasant Beach on the first weekend of New Jersey beaches re-opening to the public on May 27, 2013 in Point Pleasant, New Jersey. (Photo by Kena Betancur/Getty Images)

Hey, New Jersey: Fuhgeddaboudit!  You’re Happier Than You Think!

Well here we go again!  Shortly after nearly everyone in the Garden State was shocked to learn that we’re really high up on a list of “best places to live in America” comes these survey results from Wallethub.

New Jersey residents are the 5th happiest in the entire country!

Say, whaaaaat?  The same people who lean on their horn the moment a traffic light turns from red to green are actually happy?  That guy working 3 full time jobs in a grimy t-shirt, driving that beat up imported POS just to be able to afford a quarter of an acre with 3 beds and a bath and a half is actually happier than the vast majority of our country?

All 50 states were ranked based on 30 different metrics, including stuff like:  Emotional and physical health . . . career satisfaction . . . unemployment . . . life expectancy . . . depression . . . sleep . . . and weather.

The top five happiest states in the nation are:

1:  Hawaii  2:  Maryland   3:  Minnesota   4:  Utah  and (drum roll)  5:  New Jersey

So smile, Jersey!  You’re actually a lot better than you give yourself credit for!  Does this mean that maybe we should just chill out for a moment and take a look around us and appreciate what we have around here?  Maybe it’s time we stop the self-loathing and bitchy attitude and recognize that New Jersey is awesome!?

Nah, it’s more fun to complain, isn’t it?  As my friend Danny Shade once told me, “If you’re not bitchin’, you’re not livin’!”  (He meant it 1000% sarcastically, by the way.)

The least happy states in the country are:

45:  Alabama  46:  Kentucky  47:  Arkansas  48:  Louisiana  and 50:  West Virginia

See?  Now that you look at the bottom of the list, it’s kinda making more sense, isn’t it.  West Virginia, Arkansas, Kentucky… they’re the worst.

Hang in there, Jersey.  You’re doin’ ok!  Great parks, awesome beaches, fantastic restaurants, and awesome music venues… We rock!

GALLERY: 2022 Sea.Hear.Now Festival (Asbury Park, NJ)

Carl Craft is studying here on earth for a short time and trying to make the most of it... with varying amounts of success. He's heard every morning on The Morning Rat Race. Sometimes he goes, "sock / shoe, sock / shoe" which we think is a sign of some kind of psychosis...