Carl Craft

Weekdays 6am - 10am

Which story is made up?

Dateline, Tennessee.  Don Kirkland has the biggest set.  He just got busted for selling TV’s and other stuff in the Walmart parking lot.  Why’s that take guts?  Because he had just stolen the stuff from the Walmart whose parking lot he was in.  He’s looking at jail time.  Moral of the story?  Hey, you got to go where your customers are.  You sell cookies outside the pot dispensary, you sell TV’s outside the electronics store.

That’s story number 1, now known as:  People of Walmart getting bolder!

 

And our 2nd story for today’s No Sweat News Quiz:  Dateline, England.  In a tradition that goes back centuries, the Royal Bees have been informed of the Queen of England’s passing.  The Royal Beekeeper went into the field and whispered to them that their queen was gone, but – not to worry – they had a new sovereign in King Charles.  Moral of the story?  Hey, who hasn’t talked to the little animals in the forest once in a while?  Just when I do it, I’m on magic mushrooms.

That’s story number 2, now known as:  I think I’d rather have the Queen’s honey over the King’s honey.

 

And our 3rd story for today’s No Sweat News Quiz:  Dateline, your card table.

 

 

 

 

The Hoyle playing card company has announced gender neutral playing cards.  In this new version of playing cards, gone are the classic face cards King, Queen, and Jack because – they say – automatically placing the male King over the female Queen reflects outdated sexist stereotypes.  The Jack – Queen – King will be replaced by 10, 11, and 12.  The ace remains because it’s already gender neutral.  Moral of the story?  So, poker’s ROYAL FLUSH goes right down the toilet?

 

That’s story number 3, now known as:  Really?  Playing cards is what we’re going after now?

 

And our final story for today’s No Sweat News Quiz:  Dateline:  Spain.  A woman was just busted for faking her own kidnapping and extorting her mom FOR THE FOURTH TIME.  Mom got a shocking video showing her daughter’s abduction and she paid about 50 grand to strangers.  But, cops investigated because it had happened so many times and found the daughter and the accomplices partying at a casino.  Moral of the story?  So, 3 is the limit.  Can’t fake FOUR abductions.  Got it.

That’s story number 4, now known as:  So we don’t have to wonder any more.  Good.

Watch the video for the answer:

Carl Craft is studying here on earth for a short time and trying to make the most of it... with varying amounts of success. He's heard every morning on The Morning Rat Race. Sometimes he goes, "sock / shoe, sock / shoe" which we think is a sign of some kind of psychosis...