Stop Touching Christiano Ronaldo’s Statue’s Pee-Pee, Please
That and more on today’s No Sweat News
Today’s No Sweat News featured three stories that could very well embarrass humanity for weeks or months…
We start with a ridiculous story from California about the eviction of a food bank. After that it’s off to Canada to eyeball a mayoral candidate with pretty crappy timing on the campaign trail. Finally, we’ll go to Portugal to discuss what’s wrong with touching the private parts of Ronaldo’s statue.
Up first: The landlord of a building that rents space to a food bank is evicting the community support center because the owner of the group doesn’t like all the poor and homeless people coming around to pick up food. Yeah, the landlord says he’s worried about his property value so the food bank has to move. Never mind the fact that they saw a whopping 250% increase in food requests during the pandemic and the local economy still hasn’t bounced back.
Second story: Rick Shone is running for mayor of Winnipeg, Canada. One of Rick’s campaign issues is trying to curb the rash of bicycle thefts in the city. Well, about an hour after he announced his plan to stop bicycle thefts – his bike was stolen out of the bed of his pick up truck where he left it unlocked. (Maybe part of his plan should be locking your bike up?)
And lastly: The bronze statue of Christiano Ronaldo in his hometown is getting a worn down and shiny spot on his crotch where people are rubbing it. Since it’s bronze, that area is getting all shiny while the rest stays dark because it oxidizes in the weather and elements. So, maybe… could you stop rubbing his johnson? Thanks.
