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Carl Craft

Weekdays 6am - 10am

I don’t know if this technically counts as animal cruelty, but maybe it should . . .

Dateline, Texas… For this No Sweat News idiot.

A woman in El Paso went to a zoo over the weekend . . . climbed into a monkey enclosure . . . and started feeding them FLAMIN’ HOT CHEETOS.

They were spider monkeys, which aren’t huge.  But they can still do a lot of damage if they want to.  And obviously Cheetos aren’t part of their normal diet.

Luckily, the woman wasn’t hurt, and the monkeys will probably be okay.  A zookeeper said the Flamin’ Hot Cheetos could cause stomach issues and bowel disruptions though.

(So . . . the same as in humans then? Because when I eat Flamin’ Hot  Cheetos my gut feels like it’s about to spew… and then the next day, we’re talking RING OF FIRE, and I don’t mean the Johnny Cash song.)

The director of the zoo called it “stupid,” and said they definitely plan to press charges.  They also have to install a higher fence now to make sure no one else tries it.

Last we checked, police hadn’t released the woman’s name yet . . . but her boss did, because she’s already been FIRED over it.

They recognized her from a video someone posted online.  Her name is Lucy Rae, and she was working at a law firm as a litigation assistant.

Carl Craft is studying here on earth for a short time and trying to make the most of it... with varying amounts of success. He's heard every morning on The Morning Rat Race. Sometimes he goes, "sock / shoe, sock / shoe" which we think is a sign of some kind of psychosis...