It’s Page Nine…with East Side Dave
(95.9 The Rat’s parody of sleezy celebrity gossip websites)
Good morning, dear readers! And for Danica Patrick…..it seems that it’s a GREAT morning! And that’s because the sultry NASCAR driver has a heart as full as her gas tank!
Oooooh-la-la! Danica has apparently taken a pit stop from being single…and she’s giving the green light to new boyfriend Carter Comstock! Looks like Carter is getting the checkered flag after Danica sidelined former beaux Aaron Rodgers!
Touch luck, Aaron! Seems like Ms. Patrick is moving on without you! Danica is in fourth gear and she’s racing to LOVE!
This has been another edition of Page Nine! And remember, dear readers, to keep it on the QT…and very hush-hush!
– East Side Dave